here, everything happens at once
Today marked the last day of the general chemistry series for me. It was bittersweet; at the very end of the lecture, the professor tied everything back to one overwhelming analogy; a piece of information that took us back to the basics taught in the prerequisite to the general chem series. A 0.7mm lead at the center of Safeco field represents the nucleus in an atom. To think that nucleus houses the two subatomic particles that make up its MASS (yes, the mass of the atom comes from that 0.7mm dot sitting at the center of Safeco) one of which determines the identity of an atom. The class did not seem overwhelmed...but of course I was.
Last night, I stood waiting for the bus at the train station. The schedule wasn't up so I was waiting blindly. It was freezing out and I decided to walk. As I stood at the intersection waiting to cross, I saw the bus as it departed the station. I ran to the next stop (which was not much really). But a man asked if I was ok to which I breathlessly replied "yes". I caught the bus only to get off at the next stop. Let me tell you, it was really cold...but really I could have just walked.
Today I was speaking to a fellow tutor and discovered that she's taking 22 credits, amongst it physics III, calc III, and 4 (I think) other courses and she's working 11hrs. I told her she must be a super human. I also felt embarrassed about considering my schedule busy. She said that she'd much rather work as a tutor than in retail or at Dick's because that work is mostly meaningless and mindless. I felt the exact same when I worked for a bit at Amazon which is an amazing company for what it does but I'll never work there again. I felt completely worthless during those 5hr shifts at night in the warehouse. I would organize packages in boxes according to letter/number and then distribute them to pallets and this was definitely a more efficient way of getting the work done. However, a co-manager approached me and addressed me like a child: "Don't do that. Your job is to keep the work flow going by scanning and organizing packages." My not so creative but decent idea was rewarded with scolding. Of course I tried to explain (that was my pettiness shining through) my approach and how it made complete sense. This is the kind of work that, after years especially, can eat at the soul and break it - do what you're told, just do it, don't question it - your brain? Leave that at home.
I decided to walk home this afternoon to avoid the annoying situation that occurred the previous night. At the time the sun was setting and the sky was filled with birds flying home, which was northeast from where I stood. Today marked the last day of gen chem series, but it is marked by other things as well. This is life - here, every thing happens at once.
* the title of this post is inspired by the following passage from the short story, "There Will Come Soft Rains", my favorite piece of prose which I first read in high school:
Last night, I stood waiting for the bus at the train station. The schedule wasn't up so I was waiting blindly. It was freezing out and I decided to walk. As I stood at the intersection waiting to cross, I saw the bus as it departed the station. I ran to the next stop (which was not much really). But a man asked if I was ok to which I breathlessly replied "yes". I caught the bus only to get off at the next stop. Let me tell you, it was really cold...but really I could have just walked.
Today I was speaking to a fellow tutor and discovered that she's taking 22 credits, amongst it physics III, calc III, and 4 (I think) other courses and she's working 11hrs. I told her she must be a super human. I also felt embarrassed about considering my schedule busy. She said that she'd much rather work as a tutor than in retail or at Dick's because that work is mostly meaningless and mindless. I felt the exact same when I worked for a bit at Amazon which is an amazing company for what it does but I'll never work there again. I felt completely worthless during those 5hr shifts at night in the warehouse. I would organize packages in boxes according to letter/number and then distribute them to pallets and this was definitely a more efficient way of getting the work done. However, a co-manager approached me and addressed me like a child: "Don't do that. Your job is to keep the work flow going by scanning and organizing packages." My not so creative but decent idea was rewarded with scolding. Of course I tried to explain (that was my pettiness shining through) my approach and how it made complete sense. This is the kind of work that, after years especially, can eat at the soul and break it - do what you're told, just do it, don't question it - your brain? Leave that at home.
I decided to walk home this afternoon to avoid the annoying situation that occurred the previous night. At the time the sun was setting and the sky was filled with birds flying home, which was northeast from where I stood. Today marked the last day of gen chem series, but it is marked by other things as well. This is life - here, every thing happens at once.
* the title of this post is inspired by the following passage from the short story, "There Will Come Soft Rains", my favorite piece of prose which I first read in high school:
In the last instant under the fire avalanche, other choruses, oblivious, could be heard announcing the time, cutting the lawn by remote-control mower, or setting an umbrella frantically out and in, the slamming and opening front door, a thousand things happening, like a clock shop when each clock strikes the hour insanely before or after the other, a scene of maniac confusion, yet unity; singing, screaming, a few last cleaning mice darting bravely out to carry the horrid ashes away! And one voice, with sublime disregard for the situation, read poetry aloud in the fiery study, until all the film spools burned, until all the wires withered and the circuits cracked.
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