twenty-three

The 4th of December this year found me at my very busiest. My days are a rush of activities- I tell myself that it's meaningful. I'm driven and with purpose. But it's easy to fall into the mindless cycle of climbing the same stairs you sprinted across three years ago, watching the sun set from the very same window you have countless times, leaning your head on the window as the train rushes into the darkness of the tunnel you pass through every day on your way to and from school. It is the circle of life. Who's to say that 25 won't find me rushing through the same halls?

Great things have happened this year and I'm grateful for it all. I have family and friends that care a great deal about me, I have tools through which I can access all the knowledge in the world (almost all), I have my heart that is now full but is forever changing with the seasons. I felt most alive today as I sat waiting for a professor during office hours. I glanced out a window overlooking the husky outdoor track, the horizon was outlined by distant mountains, the sky gleamed a deep blue and the bare trees of winter were like outstretched hands in awe of the glorious creation that frames their world.

At the core of every human is a soul and our souls do not age as our bodies do. I like to think that I'll feel just as alive at 33 and 53 and 73, god-willing. It often crosses my mind when I brush shoulders with a senior on the streets that not too long from now I'll be looking out at the world through worn eyes not unlike their own. It is the circle of life, maktuub.

As a side note, I know I have abandoned (once again) the project that I started this year. Uugh. Life happened. Here's a poem I wrote some years ago. It must have been during the night- that is usually when I feel most inspired.


On whose face shall I observe, 

The glow of youth that once claimed my own:                               
It is an inheritance of promise 
Tomorrow shall come too soon, 
And I shall find my face drained of this light 
Life shall narrow itself to 
Countable years 
and a near end. 
Why is it that we believe that promise 
and potential lay only with the youth? 
Look deep into my eyes and you shall find 
That I am young at heart 
As hopeful and joyous 
and wholeheartedly in love with life 
as I ever was. 






Well then - here's to loving life. All praises are due to Allah who continues to bless me with life and light- I pray that I grow more deserving of the days that he has given me.